I used to write a lot. Mostly, it was about sadness. There was sadness over particular things, like loss, good byes, love, poverty, catastrophes, death, and I wrote about them as a form of therapy. But there was also sadness over ideas, the thought of a vast universe and my insignificance, or how poverty will never be solved. It was the kind of sadness that paralyzed me, that kept me in my bed, or that weighed me down so that I'd drag myself around. I'd write about it to understand it, or to remember what I understood of it. But I never forgot it.
About a year and a half ago, however, I found a reason to be a little more happy so that there just wasn't enough sadness to write about. I got distracted from the general sadness, the sadness over ideas, because I was, by force of circumstance, living. I stopped writing. Then, about five days ago, well, let's just say the circumstances have changed. So here I am. And here you are.
Is it strange that I missed it a little? The sadness? Or the time I used to have wallowing in it?
But this isn't about that.
After watching two straight seasons of Dr. Who, I've come to realize things.
I realized that there is so much to be sad about, if you think about it. There really is. And maybe it's from watching Wonder Years growing up, or maybe it's being raised with an ability to empathize or sympathize, but it is hard not to feel sad if you are not distracted from it and especially so if you make no effort at being a little less sad, or a little more happy. I've realized too, that the thing that makes me the most sad, but that fascinates me at the same time, is the fact that there is a vast universe out there and so much to see, and that I have just a single life time which is simply not enough, especially as I have to spend most of it dealing with exceptionally mundane things like brushing my teeth (2 mins.) or choosing what to wear to a hearing (10 mins.).
But I figured, too, that this should not paralyze me. If anything, it should motivate me.
So here's a new year's resolution, and this is me as resolute as I ever was.
Yes, there are the things I have to do to make a living. But I have, give or take, eighty days in a year I could spend just trying to see what there is to see. It doesn't solve my problem but it would take a bit of that chip on my sad, sad, shoulder.
There will be sadness, I am sure of it. But it will be the kind of sadness that will keep me walking. I figured, that the trick just might be, to keep walking, and get lost, and hope that in the process I would find myself.
The coming year... it's going to be about seeing, feeling, breathing, living, living, living. It's going to be about keeping on keeping.
So this is what this blog is about.
It's about the lonely joker who keeps on walking. It's about where I've been to and where I'm headed. It's about new flavors that excite me.
And it's about time.
About a year and a half ago, however, I found a reason to be a little more happy so that there just wasn't enough sadness to write about. I got distracted from the general sadness, the sadness over ideas, because I was, by force of circumstance, living. I stopped writing. Then, about five days ago, well, let's just say the circumstances have changed. So here I am. And here you are.
Is it strange that I missed it a little? The sadness? Or the time I used to have wallowing in it?
But this isn't about that.
After watching two straight seasons of Dr. Who, I've come to realize things.
I realized that there is so much to be sad about, if you think about it. There really is. And maybe it's from watching Wonder Years growing up, or maybe it's being raised with an ability to empathize or sympathize, but it is hard not to feel sad if you are not distracted from it and especially so if you make no effort at being a little less sad, or a little more happy. I've realized too, that the thing that makes me the most sad, but that fascinates me at the same time, is the fact that there is a vast universe out there and so much to see, and that I have just a single life time which is simply not enough, especially as I have to spend most of it dealing with exceptionally mundane things like brushing my teeth (2 mins.) or choosing what to wear to a hearing (10 mins.).
But I figured, too, that this should not paralyze me. If anything, it should motivate me.
So here's a new year's resolution, and this is me as resolute as I ever was.
Yes, there are the things I have to do to make a living. But I have, give or take, eighty days in a year I could spend just trying to see what there is to see. It doesn't solve my problem but it would take a bit of that chip on my sad, sad, shoulder.
There will be sadness, I am sure of it. But it will be the kind of sadness that will keep me walking. I figured, that the trick just might be, to keep walking, and get lost, and hope that in the process I would find myself.
The coming year... it's going to be about seeing, feeling, breathing, living, living, living. It's going to be about keeping on keeping.
So this is what this blog is about.
It's about the lonely joker who keeps on walking. It's about where I've been to and where I'm headed. It's about new flavors that excite me.
And it's about time.
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